Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
