I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
