Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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