That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
