Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
