Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
