we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
