It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
