i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
