So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
