I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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