Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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