And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
