I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
