nut hugger
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
