she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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