he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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