tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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