actually, I'm a sock model
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
