So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
