Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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