we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
