is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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