two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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