is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
