I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
