so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
