youre lurking in front of me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
