Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
