Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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