i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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