She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
