lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
