im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
