Just fell off a train. Bad.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
