Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
