i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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