We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
