i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
