I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
the gays at disneyland are vicious
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I fill condoms, not promises.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
