You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
