3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
