to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
