Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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