Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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