Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
