Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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