She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
