this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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