You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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