So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
