He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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