This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
