I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
