i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
