I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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